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How do you deal with a partner who has had many previous sexual partners?

Asked by drdoombot (8145points) April 27th, 2012

After being off the meat market for a very, very long time, I met someone recently and we’ve had something of a whirlwind relationship. We clicked very quickly and I find her to be one of more interesting women I’ve ever met (and also pretty damn close to having the things I want in a long term partner).

But, and I hate that I seem to be bothered by this, I think I’m a little disturbed by her past. She’s several years younger than me and has been with more sexual partners than I have by a factor of 20.

I know I shouldn’t be, but I find myself intimidated. We both come from a culture where unmarried non-virgins (women) are considered promiscuous. I find the notion ridiculous, but… well, I was expecting a number larger than my own, but not by that much.

I am aware that there is a difference between sex and love, but I still feel that at her age (23) to have had that many partners… Something doesn’t add up. She has admitted to being a very “sexual” person, but it still seems kinda high. I don’t want to be judgmental and criticize someone for how she used her body and lived her life: that was her choice and she was right to do what she wanted. But I wonder if my simply considering whether or not I can live with her past is an act of judgment on her in itself… Am I betraying my own beliefs that a person should be a bit more modest in their sexual encounters by accepting her contrary lifestyle?

Should I be bothered by this? How does one get over something like this?

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