Why is it so hard to abort a pregnancy you never wanted?

I am currently 9 weeks pregnant and it is very much an unplanned pregnancy.
I hate children and I am by far the least maternal woman out there and when I see children even now while pregnant, i just don’t think ‘aww’ like other women do
The weird thing is though, why would I rather go through with the pregnancy and give it up for adoption, than just abort it now?
Something is making me want to protect it?