At what point are you comfortable stepping in and talking to a friend about how they parent their children?

Never?
Do you wait for them to ask for advice?
If you fear they are doing something to harm their kids?

My closest friend, we have been inseparable since childhood, has two kids (a boy and a girl). I was there when they were both born and I love them like my own flesh and blood, in fact they think that I am their aunt. It’s especially nice for the kids, as my friend has no living relatives.

She is raising both of her kids in very rigid, traditional gender roles. I don’t think it’s awful to buy your little girl an easy bake oven, but I believe that at some point a line can be crossed.

Her 3 year old is in preschool, and she is doing really well. However, she refuses to use anything that isn’t pink. She won’t cut her hair because her biggest goal is to be a “pretty girl.” She won’t listen to music with a man singing, and she doesn’t like TV or movies that have “too many boys.”

Recently, my friend told me that she came home from school and said that she and her friends wouldn’t sit with another little girl at school because she wasn’t “pretty.” Because she wasn’t wearing pink. My friend laughs and says that her daughter is a “little diva,” but I’m failing to see the humor in this. My friend really encourages this sort of thing with her kids, and it worries me. I think (I guess?) she thinks it is cute because they are little, but I am really concerned about what this means for them in the future. Is it just me, or isn’t it alarming that your 3 year old thinks that being pretty is the most important thing in life?

I’m guessing I probably shouldn’t say anything, I don’t see it being well received… but I’d love to hear input if anyone has any.