How can names be so hurtful?

Did you grow up hearing you mother tell you to say, “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me?”

It’s a lie, apparently. I think I saw some research once showing that names are more hurtful than anything, but I’ve been telling myself it’s just a name all my life. It still makes my back tense up when I think someone is dissing me.

And here at fluther, we make it illegal. A post will get modded if you call someone a name. Why? Why are names so hurtful? Why do they incite violence so quickly?

Have you ever been brought to the boiling point by being called a name? How did you respond? How did you end it?