Where does joie de vivre go when it is lost?

How do you get it back again?

Technically I am doing better for myself, making the right choices, being responsible, taking care of myself. I have a growing confidence in myself, I have ways to relieve anxiety, friends, a job, a place. I should be brimming but rather at a loss. And I feel crippled by my fears which I realize for the most part unfounded and irrational. Except in nature I cannot find peace or carpe diem and with winter here I can’t indulge the need.

So where do you place irrational fears or overcome them?