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I need advice on personal matter (details inside)

Asked by Unbroken (10257 points ) November 21st, 2012

Is it healthier to stay informed and to what extent if you had a implicit in an offender getting charged with a minor felony and several misdemeanor charges.

He had prior ambitions to go into the health field. In fact he was in college at the time he was charged.

He is now being released on parole, which was very strict, one condition was completing a mental health evaluation and being compliant with all of their recommendations.

I got a notification he was being released on parole and form asking if I want to: comment or attend any final parole and revocation,
be notified of offender’s escape of custody,
notification of offender’s release from custody, notification special parole hearings,
or of application of executive clemency,
a current photo,
any petitions by offender for modification reduction of sentence,
or if he’s interviewed by media, or no further contact.

His parole is to be served in the town I live and isn’t very large town either.

My preconceived notion of this move on with life don’t look behind. I did what I could. This was a very short lived relationship. He’ll be too scared. I have no idea how to move on if I am always involved in this.

My restraining order will be up soon as well, do I go back every year to renew that?

On the other hand while I have taken a gun safety class and practiced a little I still don’t own a gun and I live alone. I have taken a basic self defense train class.

But the guy is 60 lbs heavier is significantly taller and has military training and has seen combat.

He also stalked and caused property damage to my friends and family. Which in a way feels like the scariest and most helpless feeling. So while I have moved, they haven’t, he also knows where I work and what car I drive. I might buy a new vehicle.

My friends and family are pretty split: move on. You’ll be protected by the system. Why would he go after you when he will face more jail time if he does, and it was a very short lived relationship any how? He has PTSD give him a break people make mistakes. He paid for his crime let both of you move on. How long do you want to be the lady the psycho ex?

To a sardonic half serious, I can’t be seen in public with you any more. To the guy is mentally unbalanced he doesn’t know what he is going to do next. You already screwed up his career, limited his job options, and he is stuck in a state where he has a dv record so it will be harder to attach himself to another women, he spent a year probably hating you.

Then all these addtional options make it more confusing. It’s not my duty to prevent him from having a life.

He made a mistake, thankfully we all walked away from it alive and in one piece. But it wasn’t a momentary mistake he stalked me for months. I moved, I tried to get a restraining order, when that failed it just fed his thought that he was justified.

Where do my actions cross the line between self protection and insurance and what is rational?

How far this one letter and phone call have stressed me out make me realize I probably can’t make a rational judgement right now.

Which might be more upsetting right now then anything else. I had convinced myself I was over this. I have tossed around this decision for almost a week and keep flipping.

Can some one bring logic, reason and clarity to the table?

Thanks for reading the long winded angsty narrative and in advance for any insight.

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