How can I be rational and even minded about this?

I am shaking with anger. I was physically sick, I was so angry. I recently paid off fifty thousand dollars usd in child support. My son just told me that he, and my daughter, get nothing but what I send them each month, by western union. This is on top of what I still send for support, and the packages of clothing and shoes that I send. I know that my ex just bought a half-million dollar house and my son told me tonight that he(my ex) spent 1200$ on golf clubs this past week end. I am crying with rage. Just saying, my ex got that fifty thousand in a lump sum. I am consumed with rage. They are in another country, that I am desperately trying to get back to. How can I go on? I live on $2000 usd a month, most of it goes to western union transfers!!