[Possibly NSFW] What is it with guys named Dick and politics?

OK all you hot, sexy, slippery Jellies, TGIF!!! Here’s one I know you can sink your teeth into.

Let’s get a grip on this whole Dick thing. Tricky Dick Nixon got the ball/s rolling way back in 1973. While he appears to have been so undersexed he never could get it down Pat, his ever devious mind conceived of the Watergate burglary, a scandal notable both in the depth of criminal wrongdoing involved as well as the complete needlessness of the plot. Nixon was a shoe-in to win the upcoming election, but he just couldn’t bear to do so without cheating. Instead, this Dick had to go to extreme lengths to steal his rival’s campaign plans.

Next came the Dick Morris meltdown. On the same day that Bill Clinton was about to take the stage in 1996 for his big convention speech, all the air got sucked out of the room, and the press ignored the convention speech in their desperate rush to cover the Dick Morris / Washington Call Girl scandal.

Finally, as if one dick is never enough, there was Dick Armey, the former House Majority Leader from 1995 to 2003. His fall from Grace (he may have fallen off other girls too) came when his extramarital dalliances became one more of Washington’s worst-kept secrets. Toss in for good measure him just extorting $8 million from Tea Party Astroturfing lobbying firm, FreedomWorks with the help of a gun-toting friend. The pair extracted the not-insubstantial deal for a promise by Armey to keep his particular Dick out of FreedomWorks till death do them part. Pretty good pay to NOT work somewhere, wouldn’t you say?

So what’s with all these Dicks. Are they living up to (or maybe down to) cultural expectations for dicks? Sure most dicks are a bit crooked. But not bent like a screwball.