Why do my parents choose to ignore my depression?

I’ll try to make it short…although there are so many problems between me and my parents it’s almost impossible to ask about one without incorporating the others.

The main problem is my stepmom. I come from a broken home…my mom was abusive. She uses that against me with my dad. When I disagree with something they say, she basically tells him to ignore it because I’m damaged and brainwashed by my mother.
I mean she’ll say that in front of me like I’m not even there. And my dad will just nod.

And she tries to lie to me. And I’ll call her out on it and she’ll speak to me in this manipulative nice tone even though what she’s saying is rude. I mean she almost gets off on it. Lying and manipulating me and making it impossible to stand up to her because she’s the “adult” and the “parent” and I can’t go against what she says.

But anyway. I have depression. I’ve only had it since I’ve lived here. But really, what’s my option? Live here and have a comfortable life while wanting to commit suicide or go back to my abusive mother and live in poverty?

I’ve tried to get my parents to help.

My stepmom is a social worker. She said there’s nothing wrong with me and I’m a hypochondriac and because she’s always talking about psychological terms, I’m using those terms to diagnose minute “symptoms” that I might have.

And my dad’s a pharmacist and he always just says that he doesn’t want me on drugs.

I asked to go to a therapist, they reluctantly said they’d take me. We never went.

I cut myself on my thighs, I try to hide it, but I forgot and I KNOW my parents saw the cuts. They didn’t say a word.

And my dad has stopped talking to me. I’ve gotten into spiritual things and sort of Hinduism. My stepmom is a devout bible thumping Christian. So I was talking to my dad this morning about it (mind you, the only time I ever get to talk to him anymore without her right there), and he literally gets up in the middle of the conversation and walks out. And I’m like, “Well bye then.” And he said, “I’m coming back in a minute…”

And he never did. He went to my stepmom’s office and talked to her the rest of the morning.

I’m so sick of her. I know it’s her. She’s immature and insecure. She gets EXTREMELY jealous when my dad talks about a friend (who’s a woman) that he has at work. Or any women. I’m not allowed to talk about my mom and half-sisters because it will piss her off. And I’m not allowed to talk about her daughters, my step-sisters (even though I get along with them), because her family is none of my business.

And yet she got mad at me for not telling her “Happy Mother’s Day” yesterday.

I know most of this is irrelevant but it’s the main cause for my depression.

And I can’t escape it. Not even when I’m old enough to move out. She’ll always be there telling my dad what to think and say about and to me. He’s spineless. He’ll never divorce her. She has him convinced that she’s the only good woman in the world. She’s poison.

So please don’t report my question again saying I need to get professional help that Fluther can’t provide.

I don’t know how to get help because of my parents. And I wouldn’t feel comfortable calling a suicide hotline.

Oh and the counselor at school. I would talk to him, but he’s young and girls think he’s cute so there’s always like 30 kids in his office just hanging out.

If I went in there, everybody would know I have problems.

I just don’t understand how you can so coldheartedly ignore your child’s problems. Even as a stepmom. AND a social worker. Her line of work is to help people and she can’t help me.