Couples, how do you compromise between family and in-law events?

I’m trying to figure out how to work a situation I have with my boyfriend. He constantly has family events like 1–2x a month it will be an extended family gathering to hang out and stuff. Not to mention I see his sisters every day and we double/triple date often. Sometimes see his mom once a week or she comes and visits vice versa. I’ve spent so much time with his family.

My family has family events like once every month or two. They’re all busy with work and their own little families that its hard to plan something.

But when my family plans something, his family usually has something planned that day too or his car club he’s dedicated to (vice president) for a car show and event. He has misses several family events because of that and I always get “where is——?” I just think it says to them “I don’t care to make an effort to see you”.

His step dad has already planned a weekend get a way two hours away next month….his birthday happens to fall on my sisters birthday too. Guess which one my bf will be going to? Yeah, he’s going to miss yet another family get together.

Don’t get me wrong, if there is time he tries to come to mine. He’s left Christmas time at his family early to be with me.

I just hate how I feel so unbalanced. I have bonded with his side and see them a lot…but it’s like he hasn’t bonded with mine cuz they rarely see him.