Does this sound like a good children's story?

For AP Spanish, we have to write a 15 paged children’s story, in Spanish of course, based on the culture of the country we were assigned to. I was given Argentina. I have a few sentences to sum it up is it good?

The story goes like this: Andreas Olivencia grew up thinking that behaving perfectly, dancing the tango, and acting like a snob was all he needed in his life. Well, one day on the way to dance class with his perfect dance partner Claudia Santiago, he meets his old friend Diego Martinez, who invites them to play soccer for a while. Both knowing that soccer is child’s play, and their parents would not approve this anyway, they reject the offer, but Andreas has a second thought. All three end up playing soccer for a few weeks with Diego’s team, without their parents knowing but Andreas really starts to get a feel for playing soccer. When Andreas’s father finds out, he is very disappointed and forbidden from ever playing soccer again. What will Andreas do on the day of the dance competition? Tango, or play in a soccer tournament?

Is it too much? This is also being donated to underprivileged children in Spanish speaking countries. PLEASE help.