I need my fluther therapists (You know who you are?). How do I love my family when I dislike them immensely?

This is a general question. Please respect that. My therapists know my story. But I’ll listen to anybody with personal experiences close to mine.

So…my grandfather is turning 90 and my aunt is having a BIG get together for him. People are coming in from out of state and everything. My cousins and their kids and spouses will be there, and, my dad. The party is actually on my dad’s birthday.

I’m at a point where I don’t feel part of that family anymore. Everyone who I had any kind of relationship with either doesn’t accept my wife or they are now people who I have little respect for, either because of their beliefs or their actions. Plus, they are really just unkind people who really have no regard for me and who I am. I guess you can say they all like each other, but none of them like me. They all love to criticize me, make fun of me. They especially like to tell me how I can “fix” my life, find god, blah, blah…

I do not want to attend this function. Actually, it would be ok if I never saw most of these people again. So, why do I feel so fucking guilty?

Will it ever go away? How do I let go?