(NSFW) I have trouble reaching orgasm?

To be a little more specific, I can reach orgasm if a masturbate in an extremely specific way. Aside from that, I have trouble reaching it. No matter how turned on I am or how I direct my partner, it just doesn’t feel the same. I don’t know what to do and I’m upset because I know he feels bad about it. Thing is, it’s not like it is his fault. I thoroughly enjoy having sex and I always get that feeling of “I have to pee” during sex, which I heard was a sign that you are close to a G-spot orgasm. However, I never get pushed over the edge. I don’t feel like I NEED to have orgasm during sexual intimacy in order to be happy, but I feel awkward and pressured sometimes when he wants to do things “just for me” in order to come like oral sex. Oral sex doesn’t really do anything for me; it just doesn’t feel all that good. It hurts me to feel this way because I love how much he likes going down on me. The act itself to me is very sexy, but I don’t get any good physical feels from it.

I do know that a big part of it is mental. The way my brain works though, I ALWAYS have something on my mind. Even during sexy time, it is extremely hard for me to completely let go unless the atmosphere is right. I’m one of those people that can’t do sex unless it’s completely quiet. No tv, no music. If I hear that stuff, my mind starts to focus on it instead of what I’m doing. Even in quiet though I can’t reach orgasm without masturbating. Am I just doomed to this forever?