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Would you donate eggs (for IVF) to a sibling if your daughter vehemently didn't want you to?
This is my dilemma. My younger sister has a fertility problem that means that even with fertility help she wouldn’t be able to conceive. Two years ago I offered to donate some eggs to help her out thinking that this wouldn’t be a problem. I was very wrong. My daughter, 14 at the time, got extremely upset. I tried to talk to her. I let her know that I understood her upset and I wasn’t making the decision to hurt her but to help my sister have a baby. She was inconsolable until I agreed not to.
This became a non issue when my sister didn’t take me up on the offer. Until today. She sent me an e-mail asking me if I was still agreeable. That e-mail puts me in a bit of dilemma. On the one hand: this is my body and I should be able to do what I want. On the other hand I don’t want to create a chasm between my now 16 year old daughter and myself. I could donate and not tell my daughter but that choice is fraught with pitfalls and goes against my honest nature. I could talk to my daughter again and hope that she has matured a bit more and understands a bit more. Somehow I think that her position will be the same.
What would you do?