Send to a Friend

sad_girl's avatar

How should I approach this situation?

Asked by sad_girl (57points) August 23rd, 2013

I have had a boyfriend for about a month, everything seemed great until the other day when he had a Saturday night dinner with a female friend. Firstly, he was the one who pursued our “exclusivity”, I never pressured him on this. He volunteered this information, and told me it was because she was thanking him for taking care of her cats while she was away (LOL). He also told me he wasn’t interested in her but that “fatty could really cook”. One or two clicks later via Facebook I ascertained that his ex girlfriend had two cats and had been abroad. I also knew that at the end if their relationship, she had gained a lot of weight, and also that they remained friends.

Never on any planet would dinner with an ex at her house fly with me. Would it you?

I also found out he is still on a dating site, and logs on regularly, despite telling me that he no longer uses dating sites. (LOL)

He did not want to update his Facebook status to show that we are in a relationship because it is too “new” (do I need to write another lol?)

Anyway, after all this, it’s needless to say that my butterflies for him have flown far, far away…and even more interestingly, I have been asked out by someone else…wow!

Man #2 does know that I had been seeing Man #1, and the other day when #2 asked about my situation, I told #2 that I was no longer exclusive with #1, because I knew what I was looking for and he just was not it.

#2 has been a friend for awhile, and knows a little about me finding out about the dating site, etc. I shared some information with him, as at the time, we were simply buddies.

I am a little embarrassed that #2 knows about some of the things that have just gone on with #1, should I be? How can I make #2 know that I am no longer interested at all in #1?

Also, #1 doesn’t know that I know all this about him. He is still taking to me daily as if nothing has happened, although I haven’t been responding as I usually do. I wanted to think about everything before rushing into some kind of tirade. I’m also thinking, is it even that necessary to say anything to #1…given his dismissive attitude towards the “relationship”? Why even give him the satisfaction of knowing that I cared or looked?

I feel like I’m ready to write a novella!

Using Fluther

or

Using Email

Separate multiple emails with commas.
We’ll only use these emails for this message.