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How can I make what I have left work?
It has been the most awful day ever. I don’t want to bore you with the details. Basically I suffer with severe bipolar. I have done all the things I need to do, psychiatrist the lot. I moved to the U.K to be with a person that I have known daily for over a decade. I sold my home and took what was left in order to make a new life here. Honestly though, it was centered around the love of my life, him.
He made me believe it was better here for me and for us. He lives with his parents he is turning 35. (My bipolar is so severe I cannot work as of yet, I have been told to apply for benefits by my psychiatrist). The benefits could take ages to kick in, I could be homeless?
I knew the help was better in the U.K and I am a citizen of this country. I was living abroad. I have no friends in the U.K. For some strange reason I was stricken with a bladder infection that would not go away. Which also hindered attempts to meet new friends and make a new life. I have been so ill.
Today it turns out that most of what he told me are lies. He had no intention of ever living with me as he in incapable of having a relationship. He has also lied to his parents about everything as well as me. I have spent all I have on making us a life of which he has no part of it seems. He has an avoidance personality disorder it appears. Where he is too attached to his parents.
He vanishes for periods in the day time and he says it is to think. His parents and I are confused. He also leaves my home at around 2am each morning then goes to think? For an hour before going home? I am so confused. Where does he think and why in the middle hours of the morning. I feel like this is not true information.
What on earth do I do. I am mentally ill, alone in what feels like a foreign country, I have no networks, and I have used the money I had taking care of feeding us, finding a home and buying clothes etc., as I came with nothing. How can I make this work? Please any insights. I am in a terrible state. I have never been so terrified and hurt in my life.