Send to a Friend

africana's avatar

My sister wants me to disinvite my girlfriend from her wedding because of homophobic guests. What should I do?

Asked by africana (119points) September 15th, 2013

My younger sister is getting married in a month, and I am one of her bridesmaids. I’ve been dating a wonderful woman for the past 6 months, and it’s getting pretty serious. My sister has met her twice over FaceTime, and has told me that she likes my GF and thinks she is sweet. About two months ago, my sister said that my GF was also invited to the wedding. My GF has expressed a lot of excitement about going to the the wedding. She talks about it more than I do!

I get a call from my sister a few days ago, and she sounds pretty stressed. She basically tells me that she thinks that bringing my GF is not a good idea anymore. She is afraid that people will react negatively and it will draw attention away from the wedding itself.

My sister lives in our hometown, and unfortunately a lot of the people are close-minded. I have been out of the closet for almost 10 years, and didn’t move back home after college because I wanted to live in a more accepting place. When my mom passed away a few years ago, I came back home and attended the funeral with my ex (partner at the time). My sister shared with me that during the course of the wake and funeral people would not stop talking about how horrible it was that I was a lesbian and had the audacity to bring my partner. Losing my mom was hard enough, but hearing all of the homophobic comments that were being tossed around behind my back was heartbreaking.

Anyways, apparently a lot of these same people will be at the wedding. I told my sister that I want her to be happy, but I really don’t think she should pay any attention to the negative comments coming from judgmental, close-minded people. I am torn about what to do. As her big sister, I want to be there for her. At the same time, the thought of disinviting my GF just for the sake of homophobic guests doesn’t sit well with me. She’ll be devastated and hurt, much like how I’m feeling right now.

Using Fluther

or

Using Email

Separate multiple emails with commas.
We’ll only use these emails for this message.