If you are very angry at someone, how would you talk to them?

My friend is mad at me because I was talking to him in a serious/angry tone yesterday when we were on the phone. I was just so angry with him, everything built up to that point and I didn’t know how else to speak-also he was laughing at me on the phone and I just wasn’t going to pretend like I’m all so happy and talk that way…

Anyways, today I spoke to him and asked why he is mad and he said “No one speaks to me like that. You can’t speak to me the way you do.” So I asked him if I should pretend and fake being all loving when he made me feel like crap, and he said no not fake but respectful.

To be honest, I believe respect is not about the tone you have but the words you say. I was trying to solve the issue, and even though my tone wasn’t all flower-y, it wasn’t that terrible and offensive. It was of someone who is upset.

Now, I am just very confused. Should people speak in a loving tone to someone whom they hate just because it’s respectful?