Did I do the right thing with my ex best friend? (details inside)

The long and the short of the situation is that I was best friends with her since 6th or 7th grade, and we’re 30 and 31 now. I asked her to be my maid of honor for my wedding this past October, and that’s when things got hairy.

She basically alienated herself from my entire bridal party, and she didn’t want to deal with any of them and none of them wanted to deal with her. It was making everyone angry, frustrated… and I can’t even say what it did to me, since everyone complained to me about the other one. I eventually couldn’t take it anymore, and I had to remove her from the bridal party. I offered to let her be a guest, but she refused, and of course the friendship ended in a lot of hateful words. I don’t regret removing her from my bridal party… I don’t think it would have been anything but a miserable, tense day if I hadn’t (and really I should have asked my kid sister anyway but that’s beside the point), but I regret that the friendship ended. Though, I did know before I made the decision that if I did go that route, the friendship wouldn’t last. Which is why it took me so long to do it in the first place. She went back and forth between admitting she was a terrible friend in that situation to claiming she had no idea what she did wrong. It was a mess.

At any rate, today is her birthday. And I have said on multiple occasions since that I miss her. I fought myself for hours and finally sent a text that said “for what it’s worth, I have thought about and missed you often these last several months. I know you hate me, but I wanted to wish you a happy birthday”.

I don’t know if I did the right thing in texting her. I doubt a call would have been answered (and really, I’m at work and can’t have any kind of conversation worth having), and for all I know she’s blocked my texts too. We haven’t said a word since “that day”. I’d like to think I was the better person… I don’t know. I’m just conflicted.