Is better understanding of an opposing viewpoint achieved through reflection or rebuttal?

When I debate I am mainly concerned with how I am going to respond to what’s being said to me. I don’t really glean anything from what’s being said except for the parts I want to contradict. Don’t get me wrong. I love a good debate. It’s perfect for showing who has the better debating skills but I find that I usually come away no wiser than before.

On the other hand, I personally gain a better understanding of opinions that differ from mine by listening and digesting. I can count the number of times that this has changed my mind about a topic on one hand and still have some fingers left over, but, I don’t think I would have achieved the same results by arguing.

How about you Fluther? How do you better understand thing that aren’t you?