Selling credit cards to people at Sears?

Hi all,
I’ve recently started a job at Sears and one of the main objectives is to enroll our members into a program called “Shop your way rewards” which gives loyalty points to members who shop at our store and gives them money off their next purchases as the points build up over time.
Another objective is to sign up members for credit cards. The master card is 15 dollars off the current purchase and the Sears card is 10 dollars off and easier to get approved for.
My problem is that when I ask someone, they always shoot me down. I don’t know what my problem is, but I do want to do better and get people to enroll for these programs. My manager said I make the pitch too lengthy and I need to shorten this. What should I say?
Thanks.