I could really use some words of encouragement (family health issues).

So, a week ago today my step-father dad (a 45-year-old diabetic smoker) had a massive heart attack. I was called by my mother while I was at work last Friday around 2:30, only to find out that I needed to get my butt to the hospital as fast as I possibly could. He had a 100% blockage of his left anterior descending (LAD) artery. Heart attacks caused by a blockage in this artery are known in the medical field as the “widowmaker,” because it frequently ends in death.

He was at work when he realized what was happening, so he told my sister (who works with him) that he needed to get to the hospital. She drove him there and, on the way, he kept throwing up and passing out and she had to try to keep him alert. It took 8 minutes after getting to the hospital for him to be rushed into surgery. The doctor’s clearly didn’t think he’d make it. He stayed awake during the whole surgery in which they put in only one stent. By the time I got to the hospital, he was just getting out of surgery.

They kept him in the ICU until Sunday afternoon (only two days) before releasing him, though they told him he’d be at the hospital until at least Monday. I suspect they only let him go because he was being a complete jerk to everyone. Stubborn control freaks with nicotine cravings and hospitals just don’t mix. He’s been home for a week, but I haven’t been able to go see him because of work.

Last night, my husband and I were invited to dinner with my parents, sister, niece, and my dad’s parents that came in from out of town after hearing the news. Before the heart attack, my dad was 175 lbs at 5’11” and was always a strong, sturdy-looking guy. After seeing him last night, I couldn’t believe how he looked. He’s down to 155 lbs (my husband’s weight, and he’s only 5’9” and naturally thin) and looks like “a cancer patient” in my husband’s words. It made me want to cry just looking at him. I’ve never seen my dad look weak, and it kills me seeing him like that. To be honest, I don’t recall him looking that sick in the hospital.

I’m not asking for advice as to what I can do, because I know there’s not much aside from spending time with him and being there for him, and leaning on my husband for comfort. He’s an adult and if he keeps smoking and not taking care of himself (this has yet to be seen, but like I said he’s extremely stubborn), there’s nothing I can do about it. I just never thought my dad would be lying in a hospital bed or looking so sick at only 45. I’m scared to death that this will happen again or the stent will fail and he won’t be so incredibly lucky next time. Not only would it devastate us all to lose him, but I have no clue what would happen to my disabled mom if she didn’t have my dad to support her financially and otherwise.

So, I’m really just looking for words of encouragement or wisdom from those of you that may have been through this before. No one really close to me has ever been this sick. My grandmother had breast cancer a few years ago but, even through the mastectomy and chemo, the doctors knew she was going to survive. Plus, she lives in another state and I wasn’t there to see her sick. This was just so completely unexpected that I’m at a loss as to how I should feel or what I should do. I guess I just want to know that I’m not alone in feeling this way.