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If insurance for demonic possession existed, what would it cover?

Asked by Berserker (33548points) March 22nd, 2014

Just a question for fun. Say demons and ghosts were real, and there was a chance you, a loved one, or your household, might become possessed. They now have insurance for this. But how would it work?
Would you be compensated for the loss of material goods? Say all your clocks started spinning really fast counterclockwise and got broken, or all your dishes flew out the cupboards and broke against the walls. Would they be replaced?
If you head spun around all the way backwards and you threw up, or if you got all folded up in insane ways and started singing Avé Maria backwards at the top of your lungs for six hours, would the insurance cover the medical bills?
Or perhaps if you paid some priests to perform exorcisms and retrieve your soul, the insurance would pay you back a certain percentage of those fees.

Would they have special packages? Say a set of insurances that cover all types of common ghost possessions, or a more expensive set, yet more efficient, for demons that come to torment you? There could be some mix ups and general questions…can I use my demonic possession plan to deal with ghosts? I’m PAYING, aren’t I? If a demon raises the dead and zombies come after you, does your insurance not cover this, because technically, it’s not possession?

What about the different types of demons? You might have to have a much better insurance plan to deal with Yosoggorth than you would with Ar’ Fedpruthrx. What if the Devil Himself comes to possess you? Some insurance plans might work, others not.

And who would provide such services? Your local church? Ghosbusters?

Just for fun yo. :) This is based from a dream I had hahaha.

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