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Thoughts on casual relationships?

Asked by sirabi (27 points ) 3 months ago

I’m looking for some opinions/experiences with casual relationships from both male and female perspectives.

This is my condensed story, if you have time! :

I’ve recently engaged in a casual, sexual relationship with a man. We met about two years ago through my good friend (and were instantly attracted to each other); however, at the time we were both in relationships. Recently, my good friend, his girlfriend and this man, have been getting together now and then – going out for drinks, staying in watching tv, going out to dinner. However, we haven’t labelled anything ‘a date.’

Recently we have both gotten out of our relationships. We have talked about our attraction for each other, but agreed that we are not going to discuss a ‘relationship’ right now, as it is not the right time. He also let me know that he does not view me as someone he just wants to sleep with, but is attracted to me ‘on other levels.’ (I made sure to ask him his intentions) I thought about the situation, and after some debate, decided that I’d like to see him. However, since this is a new situation for me, sometimes I feel unsure about it. I get a little bit skeptical about whether he really is attracted to me ‘on other levels’, or just says that. Although I am not looking for or expecting a relationship out of this, I would feel completely uncomfortable if he were ‘sweet talking’ me. Perhaps I shouldn’t be so skeptical about it, but I can’t help it sometimes.

So far, I’ve spent the night at his place after the four of us (my two good friends, him and I) went out. And last weekend, we spent our first evening together – he paid for dinner, we talked a bit about ourselves, watched a movie and he invited me to stick around the next day till late afternoon. If he were just in it for sex, a man wouldn’t do those type of things, right?

He texted me a few days later saying he had a great time, but we haven’t really talked or texted since last weekend. But that’s how it should be for a casual relationship I suppose? I don’t enjoy conversations through text, but I don’t feel it’s a good idea to call considering we decided we aren’t looking to date right now.

Next time we get together, I plan on asking him his expectations, what he’s looking for and boundaries to avoid the situation from getting weird, and to make sure we stay on the same page, but till then, I was just curious about other peoples experiences similar to this.

Do you think he is genuine? Do men do those sorts of things if it’s ‘just sex?’ Am I thinking about it WAY too much? That’s probably a yes, but hey, this is new for me. I appreciate any opinions/stories/experiences! Thanks. :)

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