How does one cope with the decline of an aging parent?

I feel like I am gonna crumple from the weight of emotional pain stuck inside me. The day after Xmas when my sister and I went to see my mom, their is a traumatic image burned in my head. They use this equipment to transfer patients about who aren’t able to walk or stand on their own. They do it for safety reasons, and I do think it’s a wonderful thing to use. It prevents falls and injury.

They put my mom in this thing that night to transfer her from her wheelchair to the toilet.

When they came back she was sitting in it for a bit while they got her bed ready. Now, it wasn’t THAT long and it wasn’t something that would hurt her. But, seeing my mom that way made me want to just hide in a corner.

I can’t find an exact picture of what the equipment looks like, but
This Is the best I can do.

Since they were about to get her ready for bed and she was just back from the toilet, her pants were down around her knees. Her large diaper stood out more than usual to me. The worst part was that her head was hanging down to her chest (as it always is anymore unless she is laying down).

To me it just looked like she was hanging there. Not only looking lifeless, but without any dignity left at all. I know that it wasn’t a “bad” thing they were doing to her at all. It is just a part of her life now. And that is traumatic to me.

I don’t know how to deal with this.