How can you know the difference between love and ego?

I’ve been confused for the past year about relationships. I don’t know whether it is love or ego thats in place.

They say you feel it when you are in love but I think its way more complex than that. Personally at least it has been.

I was involved with someone who seemed to be concerned about his ego more than anything.
If he is rejected, he’d think he loves the person. If he is under control, he could let go. If things aren’t going well for his ego, he’d break up brutally in means to regain his ‘power’ and save his ego.
It seems like a relationship can be a constant transition between love and ego. Meaning, between gaining power/saving ego and being vulnerable/lack of power (which in that state feeling ‘love’ for the other person).

My guess is that this person lacks confidence/esteem so much that ‘love’ becomes this shattered thing; a game. However, we always seem to play it in our dating lives whether consciously or not. Waiting a while before texting, pretending to be busy when they reach out, etc. These little acts are saviours of power which gives us safety/security. If you are left in the end of this kind of relationship, it means they did it to win or regain the power for good.

So is this what a love relationship essentially could be like for most people?