Why does my spouse often think the worst of me?

My motives are always questioned if I don’t agree with my spouse’s decision. I am then attributed as having some sort of self-serving reason for suggesting whatever I suggest.

There are many examples, but I will share the most recent. He has to give his son who is away at school news he won’t like, that he cannot do a travel program next year. My husband and his ex have already agreed that the price is out of the question. His ex is the one who started this whole travel notion without having the means to pay for it, so now my husband is supposed to call their son and tell him this. I reminded him that whenever he had to be the messenger of mutual bad news in the past that he was the only one blamed, and that his son called the mother who then sided with the son. I suggested that he call his son to chat, but that he let his ex be the one this time to break the bad news, and he became very defensive telling me that I did not want him to speak to his son. He then accused me of having the motive of wanting him to spend the time with me instead. Not the case at all, and I have never tried to keep him from speaking with his son.

I only said what I said because I did not want him to get stuck with all the blame. Whether he would spend the time with me never crossed my mind.

This is but one example of how my motives always seem to be deemed self serving, when they truly are not.

I does not seem to stop, this behavior, and it makes me truly sad.

How do you handle people like this?