Feel like my friendships are falling through the cracks despite my best efforts. I love my partner but don't want him to be my only source of love. What can I do to fix this?

I’ve been really lucky to have a close group of friends; many of whom I’ve known since we were school-aged.

We’ve always been there to support each other throughout life’s ups and downs—high school, college, young adulthood, career, relationships, etc. Even though some of us live in different places around the Northeast, we keep in touch several times a week and try to see each other as often as we can.

My one friend has really been like a sister to me but has been really letting me down lately. She’s been having some relationship drama (kind of a self-inflicted love triangle situation) lately. She has a tendency to get into these volatile all-consuming relationships where everything else kind of falls by the wayside.

I don’t want to confuse with unnecessary details but my partner and I rented a property in the area this weekend and invited my friends to visit. Others came but not my best friend, who made a ton of excuses why she could not. (It was her and one of her paramour’s “six-month anniversary”.)

When I reminded her that I went to great trouble and expense arranging this trip and that I haven’t seen her in more than six months, she got defensive and called me out for trying to guilt her. Well maybe I was, but I don’t think it was completely unjustified considering that we had these plans for months and that she had expressed enthusiastic interest in spending time with us. Thus setting me up for disappointment and offense.

I’m hurt and disappointed but also feel very foolish for letting myself be the victim of a one-sided friendship. I honestly feel like garbage and wish I had just stayed in the city. My partner is being sympathetic but I don’t expect him to totally understand my feelings.

To make it worse, I don’t have parents. My brothers live in different states and I’m not close to any of my other family members. My friends are the closest thing I have and when one of them is dismissive to me it hurts a lot.

This is a person who will drive hours to see a concert or or stalk a random celebrity but won’t drive 20 minutes to come have a bonfire and visit with an old friend. I guess she’s made her priorities clear and I should just back off.

Now that I’ve rambled on ad nauseam, I’ll ask the real question:

I feel like my friendships are falling through the cracks despite my best efforts. I love my partner but don’t want him to be my only source of love and companionship in my life. I don’t just want romantic love, I want platonic love too. Like the kind people with “real” families get to experience. What can I do to feel better?