Widows or widowers, who have been happily married for longer than 25 years. What would you advise a friend who was widowed after years of marriage?

I ask this question of widows and widowers because I figured a person who has actually gone though it would understand things that most people don’t think about. Things that they wish other people would’ve understood when they went through it.
I’ve been with my husband and best friend for over 35 years and I sometimes try to imagine what life without him would be like. We have things in place to help me be secured financially if that should happen, but just thinking about it makes me realize no money or amount of physical comfort will actually comfort me. I really dont’ know where I would begin. Do I sell my home and the last memories we shared, or would I regret leaving them. Will staying only make me feel worse.

I remember when my dog died. I had to fly off the next day for a week vacation because I had too many memories of my dog here. I had an overwhelming need to shut the memories away. Especially since I kept crying all the time to the point where I couldn’t even catch my breath. With time I was able to appreciate memories without breaking into tears. But even when I went away and could forget for a few moments at a time, at night it hit me the hardest. That is a dog. True a family member but I had him for 13 years. Plus I had my husband to lean on.

I’ve been with my husband longer than anyone I know. I have other family members I known longer of course but we all live far away from each other.

My kids joke saying that if I go first my husband will go soon after. I’m not so sure I won’t do the same.
So what did you do? Was the devastation what you expected?