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How can I be happy again?
Normally I am such a happy person. I’m always smiling and laughing, I used to never have judgmental thoughts or cry at night. For the past month or so though, I’ve become such an angry person.
This year has been hard, my dad basically has shown that he doesn’t want me in his life anymore. My mom is relapsing (she was a drug addict a few years back). I have no friends, I always feel alone and like I’m an outsider to this world.
Im becoming so judgemental and angry… I never used to be this way. For example, I’ll catch myself judging my sister for little things and then I’ll try to think of something positive about her, but the judgements just keep coming. I’m so angry at the world… I want to go back to my old self, I hate this new me.
The only time I feel happy is when I’m exercising. But even with exercising now, I’m getting too competitive with myself. Like I feel like I’m not running enough miles, if I miss a day I feel fat and ugly… I never used to be this way either.
Depression and bipolar both run in my family, but I doubt I have it because I still have some happy days. They just aren’t as frequent. And although it’s been a struggle to get out of bed, I still study for school, exercise, shower, etc.
Please help. Any advice will do
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