Are these things normal for a daycare/preschool?

When my daughter was one, we looked around at different daycares/preschools and found one that fit pretty well. It’s been good for her, helped her develop, helped her learn, helped her socially, and we’ve really liked all her teachers. We’ve felt like “part of the school” for what that’s worth.

There are about 100 kids total spread between 8–10 classes by age (6 weeks to pre-k).

When my son turned one, we started him at the same place. Our experience with my son has been a little different, and we’re considering finding another place to take him, but I’m wondering if we’d just run into the same issues somewhere else, but have the added complication of another dropoff destination.

Our issues
– He’s the oldest in his class. I understand someone has to be, but some of the kids are just now walking, none are talking, and he probably has 20 words he uses now. The group doesn’t feel like they’re at the same level.
– We’ve brought this up to the teacher and the office, and they say he’s grouped correctly by age and would be the youngest in the next class up. (by 4 days)
– In meeting with his teacher, she said she understood our concern, but she’d have him ready to jump in with the other kids when classes change in August
– His schedule is different than my daughter’s, which makes pickups tough. He goes 3 days a week, so is considered “part-time” and has to be picked up by 4, she goes 5 days a week and can stay until 6. Getting there by 4 is tough and there is no flexibility there. ($1/minute after 4)

It feels like there should be some say in how he’s cared for this early, but we’ve been making polite requests and updates for 8 months now with no change other than a table being brought in the room so he doesn’t have to sit in a group highchair anymore.

I can see it from their perspective and from a scheduling standpoint, and I understand every parent thinks their child is the unique wonder of the world. I’m also conflicted because I don’t know how insistent I want to be with a preschool teacher, who obviously feels we’re questioning her ability. But it’s my kid, and my responsibility.

Part of me feels like the big bad wolf and part thinks it’s a completely reasonable request to put him with kids on his level.

This is my only experience with childcare. I guess my questions are: Are the scheduling and placement policies normal and we’re likely to run into something similar elsewhere? Does this stuff matter for a kid this young? Any well intentioned suggestions?