I don't want to live with my long term boyfriend - but only because of his dog. How do I tactfully approach this situation?

God, even asking this makes me feel like a real asshole.

Please, please let me preface this with this: I love dogs. I love animals, period! I am more of a cat person myself, but I grew up with dogs and I really do love them. At this point in my life I do not want the responsibility of owning a dog which is why I do not have one. I will love on any random dog on the street, and all my friends dogs as well, whenever I have the chance.

However, I cannot appreciate a shitty dog. DO you know what I mean? A poorly trained, asshole dog. Maybe its not the dogs fault? Maybe it is? I dont really know! But if i enter a room and a dog jumps on me and leaves a scratch on my stomach that is six inches long and takes a week to heal, thats kinda shitty in my opinion.

So, I’m already an asshole, but now I become even more of one. Ive been with my boyfriend for over a year. It doesnt really make sense for us not to live together. We live 1 mile apart and we each pay the same amount that we could be paying collectively living together. I have a cat. He has a dog. Otherwise there is nothing out of the ordinary about us.

The thing is….and I am not being biased, and I have no reason to want to hate this dog… but this dog really really sucks.. And yes, it is partially his fault for not training her. You know how in a trendy town like I live in, everyone wants a dog because its cool to have one? Well, here you go. So just recently we started discussing living together at the end of next summer. So this is about 7 months away. But the thing is, I cannot live with his dog. But it is a really hard subject to bring up. She doesn’t listen. She barks, she moans, she chews on herself, she misbehaves, she jumps on people when they come in the door. And she is a big dog – probably about 80 pounds. Shes not a puppy, but she still acts like one. And like I said before, I dont want a dog – I dont want to have to divert my plans to come home and let a dog out or take it for a hike – it may sound selfish, but that is exactly why i dont own a dog , because i know i cant give it what it would need!

The thing is, this is a really touchy subject, as anyone with a pet can imagine. A pet, in a way, is usually a reflection of its owner, so…..theres something to be said there.

How do i tactfully approach this? Its really really awkward, and I love my boyfriend a lot, but this dog thing, I’m almost willing to say I 100% know i cannot live with this dog. Aside from her behavior, she is huge, breaks things, knocks things over (recently broke his laptop) and I just dont have the patience or time for this in my life

Please dont tell me I’m an asshole. I already feel like one. HE knows how I feel about his dog. And to clarify – i am not the only one that feels this way. I am friends with his roommates currently, and also was friends with his past roommates, and they all absolutely dread this dog.

Has anyone been in this situation before? Do I just have to wait it out for her to die? Should we break up? Honestly, please, anything would help….I have asked numerous friends their opinion and mostly they say “Jeez….thats a tough one….sorry,...”