Send to a Friend
Does this story seem sketchy? I need all the opinions I can get... I'm sorry for the long story?
I know this is a touchy subject for a few people, and I know this is extreme, but I want to hear what everyone thinks of the story… My friends and I think this seemed predator like. Please! Let me know, if you agree. I want to hear your input…
I know this site is for questions. Also, Jess has been on this site before, but she did not take any of my friend’s advice, or anyone else’s advice on this site. Therefore, I wanted to post this question, and more to fallow, to see how many people agree with my friends and I. Once I see everyone’s viewpoints, I’m going to show this to Jess, so that I can show her how many people agree, to see if it makes a point to her, and changes her mind. She’s my best friend, and like a sister to me, so I know how to break through to her. That’s why I’m going to be asking all these questions.
My friend, Jess works at the grocery store, Whole foods….... Jess met a guy named Bobby, working in produce who started flirting with her at work a year in a half ago…... Bobby told her he has a 5 year old son, and his ex who cheated on him, and his ex is now married to another guy, and she has a daughter with the other guy. Bobby also told Jess, he was trying to become a produce manager, so that he could make enough money to go to school to become a fire fighter….Once they stared getting to know each other more & exchanged numbers, he asked her, if she liked him, she said, Yes but i’m not looking into jumping into a relationship right away.” He said, “Woah. Who said anything about a relationship? This is too fast for me anyhow. And if anything were to happen between us, can we keep it between us please? I’m just trying to move up at work.”......In the middle of the week they discussed hanging out, and he told her they should go on a walk sometime.
(That sounds creepy, depending what time of the night it is).
It seemed like he was gonna take Jess out on a date, and then when the day came, he asked if they could hang out at her place, and watch a movie. She said yes, and then he said, “Cool. Just don’t ever cheat on me though okay? I’ve been cheated on before and it hurts,” later that night after work he was beginning to follow her home, then he called at the beginning of fallowing her home, and he said, “I’m going home because this is too fast and I’ve had bad relationships before.” Bobby could tell she still wanted to hang out, so he offered for her to come to his place instead…... She wanted a kiss good bye that night, so he said she didn’t have to ask…..Then she made the first move, and kissed him. Later, he texted her, “Do you think kissing will lead to sex?” She said, no.
(That was another thing my friends and I thought seemed rapy).
He proceeded to text her, “If anything happens can we keep this between us please? I’m boss, so I would like for this relationship to stay between us.”
(Usually a predator will say, “Don’t tell anyone.”).
The next day he wanted to hang out again. He invited her over in the morning, and told her he would come over that night… Bobby wanted to talk about the moving in subject when Jess got there, and she said, That’s too fast, and it might not work out.”..... He told her not to thing negative…... She kissed him again at the end of the day & he asked if it would lead to sex, she said no, and he told her he waits till marriage and they should slow down.
(Him insisting that kissing would lead to sex seemed rapy to me and my friends – Also, he made her look like the bad guy, and she was taking things too fast, even though he had asked her to move in with him).
After all that, they didn’t speak till a week later… She texted him, he pretended he didn’t have her number. A few days later, he started light conversation with her, then he became pushy on hooking up (which is a red flag). Then he tried to find out all the details of what would happen if they had sex.
(I watched the show 13 Reasons why, one of the characters Justin Foley explains in the end credits, that you can’t just find out all the details, you have to begin it with the person saying, “yes.”).
Not to mention, he use to be kinda stalkerish at work, by trying to ease drop into her conversations, when ever one of her guy friends, Ryan (who he worked with overnight); would visit her at work. And stalkerish, by looking over at her occasionally.
(Stalking is a sign of rape).
After he got all the details, he didn’t say anything till 3 months later, after he found out she had transferred to a new location closer to her house.
Not to mention, Jess’s mom doesn’t even know all this detail, and that she hung out with him… She just knows they worked together. And she has voiced her concern ab out the subject of rape a few times & learning the hard way. That’s oddly coincidental, don’t you think!!
All of us make mistakes, but I have to point out, Jess has had her fair share in bad relationships… One guy she dated 6 years ago was older, and her parents didn’t like him, but he would encourage her to see him anyways. And another guy she dated was abusive… Not all her ex’s were bad, but she’s dated a few guys who were a** wholes.
We told her to take our advice about this guy, or learn the hard way. Especially since she’s had a couple of bad relationships, and her parents have always ended the relationships for her.
Using Fluther
or