Older jellies: are your friends getting flaky? Are you?

For the purposes of this question, let’s define “older” as 55+, or eligible for a retirement community.

If you’re not “older,” you’re welcome to answer, but please note that in your post.

Question: Is it harder than it used to be to make plans with your friends—and see them through?

I have one friend, 5 years older than I, who is susceptible to a lot of illnesses and impairments and cancels our plans at the last minute. Also she often has to take her partner to the doctor on short notice. And when there’s no medical crisis, she’s apt to just plain forget and double-book herself. I’ve been trying to manage a lunch date with her since sometime last fall, and even when she confirms on Friday, she’ll have a problem by Saturday.

The last time I sent her a message to confirm, she replied, “Is this a real e-mail?”

I keep thinking maybe she just doesn’t want to have lunch with me, but she keeps asking to reschedule. I haven’t yet had the heart to say no, but all this uncertainty wears me down.

Is it like this for everyone?

Then there’s another friend, a bit younger, who’s very busy. She often texts that “Something has come up” and wants to reschedule. Twice in the past two months she has been taken ill or is impaired by some new pain and has to cancel. At least I think that’s the case, since she used to just tell me when her social life became too full.

I have another friend who is as reliable as an old-time railway and never misses, so it’s not just that I’ve become bad lunch company.

Are your older friends getting unreliable? Can you feel yourself getting flaky? Does anyone comment on it?

P.S. I don’t do this to anyone, or at least I haven’t so far, aside from the time I fell and broke my arm and had to cancel an opera date.