How can you be sure someone has your best intentions at heart?

I apologize right off the bat for the long read and I hope you can make it through it.

All of my life I have been told I can make all of my decisions the way I want. No one can force me to do what they want. I was told this by family, friends, teachers, everyone. But lately things have been really messed up for me.

About a year and a half ago I started going out with my first girlfriend. First off, I’d like to say we are still together. About 5 months into our relationship I got into a conversation with my mom about my relationship. She claimed she did want to see me enter college in a relationship, and that I would have a much better time if I could meet other women. Astonished, I told her I had no plans to break up with my girlfriend and if no reasons came up in the future I didn’t see why I would have to. I thought tht would be the last time something like that came up.

Another half a year goes by. Senior year begins and I’m still with her. Once again I find myself squeezed into a conversation wit my mother. This time she comes straight out and claims my girlfriend is using me. I still haven’t forgotten the last time she confronted me about her, so I get pretty pissed off. Not once has she ever shown signs of using me. In fact, I’ve actually talked to her because I have felt like she does too much for me, but I rarely show her the same amount of dedication. Its not that I’m a bad boyfriend, its just that even at the slightest hint my throat is getting dry she will jump up and get me a drink. How can I compete with that?

The big issue started almost directly after that. I wanted to go to college A, while she wants me to go to college B. College B is a little more well known than college A, but even before I started filling out applications I decided I wanted to be far enough away where I felt more on my own, but close enough to home where I could come back in case of an emergency. College A was perfect for that. College B was 45 minutes from home. After I had decided where I wanted to go, my girlfriend started looking for colleges in that area. She managed to find the best school in the state for what she wanted to do, and it was only a mile away from my school. Back on the home front the fighting between my mother and I intensify. My dad agrees that college B is the slightly better choice, but at the same time has faith in my decisions.

The fighting was getting so bad the appeal of college A being six hours away was making it all the better choice, just to get away from my mom. Finally after months of fighting and screaming, the truth finally comes out. Amongst doors slamming, profane screaming, and dogs inquisitively barking I hear, “Fine! Throw your life away for her! I hope she’s worth it!” At this point I finally lost it. This whole time I thought we were at this tooth and nail because she wanted me to get the best education I could receive, but this whole time she was just worried about keeping me from my girlfriend who has done nothing but treat me with respect!

To sum it all up, I made it to college A, I see my girlfriend every weekend and I’m profoundly happy. Needless to say I don’t keep in that great of contact with my mom that much, though. But after all of this, did she have my best intentions at heart? I of course believe she only acted out of inexplicable hatred for my girlfriend, but a part of me wants to believe she was trying to guide me down the right path. Maybe I’m just looking too hard into this….