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How can I deal with a good friend of a good friend that I don't like when I can't avoid them? (Details inside)

Asked by Mimishu1995 (23630points) February 1st, 2023

I once talked extensively about a good friend whose boyfriend I can’t stand. But to recap, I have a 17-year-old friend who has a boyfriend that just chooses to be mean to me for no reason. I shouldn’t be obsessed with someone I can’t stand, but it’s really hard when I just can’t avoid him. My friend is so obsessed with him that she would find opportunity to get him to be with her, even when I am present. She sometimes talks about how she wants to include him in our group of friends. And yes she actually did call him over recently. I was at her house playing board game with her when she got so excited she called the boyfriend over. And sure enough, he started obsessing over my friend and just acted like I didn’t exist. One thing about the boyfriend is that he doesn’t display the nasty behavior he does online in real life, but if you try to talk to him, it will be clear that he doesn’t want anything to do with you.

I did try to bridge the distance between us by inviting him to play together with me and my friend, but he just said no. Every single question I asked him always resulted in a one-word answer.

I recently brought up the boyfriend to my friend. Basically what game he likes to play so that I can get close to him. She didn’t seem to have a good answer to my questions. She said the boyfriend can play but only when the game is super straightforward and easy. Otherwise he would refuse to play. When I asked her what she and he usually do around each other, she said talking. She added that he only wanted to be around her. When I asked what I can do to interact with him because he isn’t interested in me so it would be hard for all 3 of us to hang out, she was quiet like she didn’t know what to say. She then said I could try some easy card games.

The boyfriend has made it clear he doesn’t want to be with anyone other than his girlfriend, and I can’t do anything to make him at least interact with me. Yet my friend wants to put us in situations where we can’t avoid each other. It’s really problematic especially when she wants to put the boyfriend in our friend group as well. It’s a really uncomfortable situation, and I think I have tried everything to ease the situation but nothing works. What more can I do?

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