When do we start being able to handle relationships more effectively?

I know it’s a process, and that people do it at different rates, and that some never do it. My daughter is just getting into that age where she’s thinking about boys (she’s 12). I know she’s got a lot to go through; a lot to learn, before she has much competence in relationships. I know that I didn’t get very competent until I had graduated from college.

What is relationship competence? I’m not sure. I guess it’s when you feel like you can mostly do what you need to do to get what you want.

So, are there stages of competence? Like having crushes, first dates, first loves (or not), then perhaps a series of relationships. Or, all this could happen with one person. Still, whether it happens with one person, or many, I think there must be some common turning points for all of us. From the first crush to the long term happy love. What are they? How do we know when we’ve passed them?