Does Bipolar Disorder Ever Get Easier, Or Progressively Worse?

I was diagnosed in 2002 and on so many cocktails it’s hard to remember. Until the past couple of days I was doing well; now the depression is surfacing once again. Anyone with long-term diagnosed bipolar… how is it going? I just don’t know how long I can keep up with this… I have a strong will to live, but right now I am just hoping to die. I’ve never been to the point where I’ve intended to act on suicidal impulses (and I’m still not), but I do want the suffering to end.