Would it be a horrible idea to hook up with an old boyfriend so soon after a breakup?

I will try and make this long story as short as possible. God, I’m sure you guys are sick of hearing this shit from me.

So, my exboyfriend and I had Ratatat tickets for the night of my birthday. How perfect. The band that we both live and breathe for was coming to our little town on my birthday. Well, not so perfect now that we broke up. I thought that we could make amends and still go together as friends seeing as it is my birthday and we both love the band so much. But, he refuses to go because there are too many memories attached. It makes me sad, but I don’t find it unreasonable.

So, he gave me both the tickets (which he paid for) and didn’t ask for any money, which I really appreciate. He said I could sell them or take whomever else I wanted.

So, I invited my exexboyfriend (if that makes sense). He and I have been in touch lately and he’s been pretty supportive through all of this. He’s also a Ratatat fan. I felt like I couldn’t invite any of my girlfriends because a) they don’t really like Ratatat that much and b) it would create a huge bitchy rift of “OMG, I can’t believe you invited her and not me!” So, I went with a guy.

The thing is, I know we’ll be drinking, having fun, etc. And in our recent conversions, I’ve sensed a little flirtation. And there’s not much doubt in my mind that if the opportunity arose to hook up that he would take it. I’m just wondering if I should in my current fragile state. Because some people’s theory is that to get over someone you need to find a new one—a rebound at least. But at this point I think I need to find myself.

I’m in this whole “I am me. I am my own person now. I need to discover who I am and find the love inside myself.” stage and I’m not sure if doing something like that would ruin it.

Also, would it be completely vindictive against my most recent exboyfriend? I really do still love and care for him? But of course, I have those angry feelings of wanting to hurt him as much as he’s hurt me. And it’s hard to just push those aside.

Of course my hopes would be we could have one night of drunken birthday fun and that would be the end of it. I’m just scared of losing myself again.

And I know I’m getting quite a bit ahead of myself, but does anyone (especially those of you who now know me) have any words of advice?

Sorry, that was not at all brief