Are secret relationships bad? (my story included)

I was told by a friend today that because I’m in a secret relationship, it means that I’m being deceitful to everyone and it will fail. This sort of hurt because I really trust this friend and what she has to say to me. Now I’m doubting my current situation.

I’ve now been in a relationship with a guy for 1 year. I love him dearly. There’s a 15 year age gap and he’s also from a different ethnic group than I am (he’s filipino and I am white).

We’ve been seriously dating for a year and our relationship is very open and healthy. However, only a couple of my closest buddies know about him and NONE of my family knows. I know that we are legally able to date but I know that my father would hate the fact that he’s Catholic and Filipino, and my mom would hate the fact that I’m dating a much older man. I dated an older guy when I was 14 and she seriously freaked out (understandably), so this has sort of scarred me now. Even now that I’m legal, those traumatic memories still haunt me.

A small part of me wants to tell them, but how? and when? and I’m SO scared. Even just thinking about telling them makes me feel like I’m going to vomit. I love my boyfriend to bits and he’s so supportive of everything that I want to do but I just know my parents (esp mom) would dislike him because he doesn’t “fit the mold”. Plus, it’s a long distance relationship most of the time. We met the….unconventional way, should I say? (He was born and raised in CA by the way…)

As for him, he’s standing by whatever I want to do. I cannot stress enough how wonderfully he treats me…whenever we are together, physically close or physically apart, it’s great. He’s been there for many of my “firsts” in college and never interferes with my course work. (like other boyfriends I’ve seen).

I’ve never worried about this before, but I am now for some reason, probably because of what my friend said and I ran out of my anxiety pills ><.

What do you guys think?