How do I let myself love again after loss?

Do forgive me, as I’ve had a few too many glasses of red being that it’s the Canadian Thanksgiving and all.

I’ve known this girl that I just started dating for awhile now. Over a year, in fact. I adore her. There’s a strong “connection” (deep seeded love) between us. It’s there for me, deep down inside. When I allow myself to go there, I feel it. The problem with me is, I lost my Mom a few years ago. It shook me up pretty bad. I loved my Mom so much. She was one of my best friends, and after losing her my family fell apart. My Dad couldn’t express his feelings and pulled away. My sister and I did our best to pull our family together, but, the boys (my Dad and brothers) just couldn’t come together. Thus, for me, I felt that I lost my family. My Mom was cog in the wheel, so, to speak and now all it seems lost. Both my sister and I said that we feel orphaned.

Back to my current relationship. I have a difficult time letting go with this girl. Sexually and emotionally. She is deeply in love with me. She can see through all of the outer facade and into my soul. She loves me for me. Truly, deeply. She sees the wonderful things (her words) about me. But, I am having a hard time letting her in. I realized tonight that it has to do with loss. I am afraid to open myself up to her and feel vulnerable. The hurt of losing my Mom was like no pain that I have ever experienced and I am afraid to open up my heart again. I really do want this relationship to work. I am afraid that I won’t be able to give it a chance.

How do I get over this?