How can I help someone I know and love overcome their denial and come out of the closet?

This will likely be a long one, but I’m really hoping to get some good feedback. First of all, I’m 27 and I’m gay and I’m out to everyone and have totally accepted the way I am.

A few months ago, my step-brother introduced me to one of his friends and right away, almost within the first 20 minutes, I got that vibe from him… and over the next few days, I came to understand that he was definitely in the closet. He’s 20 and has ADHD just like I do, and has a stressful family life because he doesn’t take any medication for it, and they are less than understanding about a lot of his actions. Needless to say, I do understand cos I’ve been there myself. I look at him and I see a slightly less intelligent mirror image of myself, basically.

I am absolutely certain that he’s gay, but whenever I try to bring it up with him, he gets upset and keeps saying he’s str8 and says hurtful things that I know he doesn’t mean, and the next day we’re fine. I get frustrated with him, too, and keep saying I’m not going to talk to him anymore cos he’s hurting me, which I’m sure isn’t the right thing to say, but again, we’re always back to normal the next day.

It would help if people could ask me questions because I work a lot better at sharing specific information rather than trying to generalize something, but what I really need to know is how I can get him to come out of the closet… at least to me.