How much contact do you need in a new relationship?

It seems to me that there is often a kind of power game being played between a couple when the relationship is new. It’s about who likes the other person more. I don’t know if men or women suffer from it more—but it’s the thing where you constantly check your email or facebook or your phone to see if there is a message or a text you missed.

If I had to guess, I’d guess that women are more often on the short end of the stick in this game, although I think a lot of men have these anxieties, but pretend they don’t because it’s not manly. Not being a manly man, and having documented my insecurities ad nauseum, I have no trouble admitting that I need constant contact—at least one contact a day—in the beginning of a relationship, when I need the most reassurance. When someone misses an appointment and doesn’t send any acknowledgment or reassurance, I read that as a sign that I’m not very important—something I am probably too easily ready to admit.

Do you feel like you are playing a game at the beginning of a relationship? How much contact do you need to make you comfortable? How much is too much? What kind of contact do you need? What does this say about your sense of self-worth or anxiety levels? Have you ever broken off a relationship because you were too anxious about how the other person felt about you?