How do I get rid of these notifications on my Facebook profile?

“PnL has become friends with Satan.”
“PnL liked Michael Jackson’s status.”
Make it stop.

Every single time you “like” something, or become someone’s friend, they post these notifications on your profile. You used to be able to control this, but with the new privacy settings, I don’t know how to do that other than removing each story individually.

Thanks and much lurve (and <3) to anyone who tells me the solution and thus stops my BP from rising.