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How can I help my heart to understand that attraction is something subjective?

Asked by Ranimi23 (1870 points ) December 28th, 2009

I feel so fucked up and I’ll explain why. There’s one women I really wanted to date, but she probably don’t care for me as I am excited about her. Everything else is a great match, but maybe the section of sexual attraction isn’t there. I really don’t know.

I think I am a very handsome man and gets a lot of compliments from girls recently, only with this particular girl I have a difficult life so far. We are totally opposites in the mirror. She’s brown, I am bright. All other things are a perfect match.

I hate to ask her that, although it might help me realize my situation and my heart will give up and moves away more easily. The attraction is a subjective matter and it does not mean anything about me as a person, but my heart don’t understand what my brain knows. Tips how to internalize this?

We used to talk a lot, but we aren’t friends. I don’t have her cell phone and I do not hold any connection beyond the meeting place we do see each other at that one course studies. I have no contact with her beyond that.

Although she separate her ex about a year ago I understand her delicate condition. I do not want to ask her again for a date, that seems wrong. I know she doesn’t want to date any one right now. For me I left her options open.

Sometimes I think I get hints that she does want, but apparently it’s only friendly section. I look at the way she talks with all the boys and it is totally different than me. With me she is such a repressed and not allows herself to drift to the conversation.

Despite last month for instance I felt we were closer, but really close. Suddenly she tells me more about herself, where she lives, what she was doing, what books and movies she sees. One week later she suddenly turned on 180 degrees. I felt she was ignoring me deliberately avoids saying hello to me minimal. With other men she talks freely with no problems, but only with me there is a big tension between us and I can’t do anything about it.

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