Can you imagine a love relationship without all the business of being "in love?"?

I’ve been reading a book about love addiction that essentially argues that our conventional model of love is dysfunctional. Falling in love and mooning over someone and dying if you can’t be with them is basically love addiction. The test, the author writes, is if you feel horrible when it isn’t there, and then if you reinstate it, you feel good again, then it’s an addiction. The existing model of being in love depends on the idea that the other person completes you. You are nothing without your object of affections.

Pia Mellody, the author of Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love, argues that that’s very unhealthy. She says that healthy love depends on people being able to properly care for themselves—including loving themselves (instead of relying on external love in order to feel ok).

Is there another model of love that doesn’t involve the highs and lows of the current model? Or do we have to have this addictive process in order to bond with someone or to feel like we’re “in love?” What would that other model of loving look like?