What should I say to my daughter?

My daughter is thirteen and a half years old. She has never told us that there was any particular boy she liked. Recently she asked me if I thought it was strange that people her age were involved. I told her that when I was that age, it shocked me to see people my age making out in public (while waiting for the bus). She said that she thought it was weird, too.

Sometimes at the dinner table, we do discuss the boys in her class and who is going with her friends. My son seems to be a little trouble maker. He asked her if she was seeing anyone, and he named a name. She said she didn’t like this boy and he was just teasing her. She seemed to be trying to shush her brother from talking any more—something about the children’s code of silence.

She just got back from a school trip with a gazillion pictures, mostly of her friends. In a few of these photos, a certain boy appeared—the one my son had been asking her about. She didn’t appear in any other pictures with any other boy.

Then yesterday, a picture appeared on her Facebook page because she’d been tagged (we’re Facebook friends—a condition for allowing her on Facebook at all). The picture showed her and this boy sitting next to each other in the back of the bus with another girl on the opposite side of my daughter. The boys arm was around her.

There were comments about the photo and in one, the other girl said she felt like a third wheel. Then a friend of hers wrote “you guys are cute.” My daughter wrote, “yes me and lissa, she’s my son :D.” They like to play a family—she and her friends.

The friend who said they were cute wrote, “um ok…. thats not exactly what i was talking about…”

My daughter: “oh. i see. huh.”

Then my daughter wrote: ” remember DA DA DA”

Friend: “DADADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADADADAAAAAAAAA”

So, yeah. My daughter seems to want to not talk about this stuff with her parents. My wife said my daughter hadn’t said anything to her, either. I suggested she review the safety conversation with my daughter.

Now when I was a kid, I dreaded the thought of telling my parents anything about my relationships—but then, I didn’t have any, so it didn’t matter. Is there some way of gently prodding her to discuss her relationships without embarrassing her too much? She will talk—a little—about her girlfriends.