Do you have or use a spittoon?

I have an very old decorative brass antique spittoon. I’ve never once thought about actually using it for the intended purpose. But apparently they are coming back in vogue.

I know they’re generally used for tobacco chewers, but they’re also used for tuberculosis sufferers who cough up phlegm. Chinese Emperors had them in the royal halls, and even today, every Supreme Court Justice has one sitting next to their seat in the courtroom. Wine tasters use them to avoid intoxication.

My allergies have increased to alarming levels this spring. Would it be uncouth to revive the ancient arts of target spitting? Would it be a deal breaker for a girlfriend? Would it be best to hide my private saliva pit from home dates, or should I embrace the practice and get a set of his and hers spittoons.

They can be quite ornate. Don’t you think she’d love her own spittoon for Christmas? Is any home complete without one?