How much effort do you spend on understanding a message before giving your response?

I’m asking because I notice a common occurrence with written communication, and I’m wondering if there’s a reason for certain predictable responses.

Realizing there are times when short, immediate responses are necessary and taking the time to listen with the intent to interpret information before responding may not always be practical, I am asking these detailed questions with the following preface:

If time allows for a meaningful conversation…

When you’re listening to someone speak, or reading a message, do you take the time to listen and try to understand the intended message before responding? Or, do you respond immediately without hearing the whole message?

Do you typically respond based on key words you pick out of the message, even if what you think you hear isn’t exactly what the sender was trying to convey? Or, do you ignore the intended message almost completely and hijack the conversation?

How would you describe your active listening skills? Which is more important to you: understanding the sender or sending your message? In other words, do you stop, listen, ask for clarification as needed, and think before you respond—or do you speak / write like a trigger happy gun slinger?

How did you develop these listening skills? Are they effective and helpful for both you and the sender? What would you like to change or improve?

Is there a significant difference with your listening skills between verbal and written communication—as far as your willingness to actively listen before responding? If so, why?

If you’re not sure how to describe your listening skills, here’s an online quiz.

(How you respond to this question will show the actual truth.)