Is the grass greener over there?

A couple of years ago, I had an experience where I thought the grass was greener over there. Turned out it wasn’t. At the time, I was really upset with my wife, and I was manic. In my impaired mental state, I tried out another relationship, so-to-speak.

It turned out that the other woman had just as many problems (if not more) than my wife did. In my fantasies, she had been perfect—just what I really wanted (I met her online). Reality turned out to be different. Not deliberately so; but because you can’t express everything online—you never think to say some things.

I was expecting this other woman to fix me, I think. Somehow, I only just realized that. I also only just realized that she couldn’t have fixed me, and not only that, but there is no other person who could fix this existential hole that resides inside me. That’s something only I can do.

I know, I’m pretty slow. I’ve been told this for years, but I never quite believed it. However, I was away over the last weekend, doing some deep reflection in a beautiful natural spot, and this was one of the results.

The grass looked greener, but it turned out not to be. Perhaps it was even browner. Certainly it wasn’t as nourishing.

Have you ever had an experience like that? What was the situation, and what did you learn from it?